Choose dating profile photos that look like the real you: one clear, recent face photograph, one full-length picture and a couple that show your interests or everyday life. Use good natural light, avoid heavy filters and don't hide behind group shots. People should recognise you when you meet.
You can own a lovely suit, have excellent manners and know the difference between Champagne and something that was once poured over a hen party. None of it will help your dating profile if your opening photograph makes you look like a suspect identified from a petrol-station security camera.
Gentlemen, we must talk about pictures.
A dating app gives a woman a small window into your life. She hasn't heard your laugh or watched you charm the waiter. She is deciding, in a matter of moments, whether there's enough here to warrant another look. Your photos don't need to turn you into a male model. They need to answer three perfectly reasonable questions: What do you actually look like? What sort of life do you lead? Would meeting you feel like meeting the man in these pictures?
That last question is where some men come unstuck. They borrow a friend's sports car, wear sunglasses in every photograph and somehow forget to include a single unobstructed view of their face. The resulting profile could belong to the getaway driver in a reasonably ambitious bank robbery.
Let's assemble a better one.
Your first photo has one job
The opening picture should be a recent, clear, friendly portrait of you. Just you. Good natural light, eyes visible, face in focus, no hat casting a shadow across half your head. A smile is welcome, provided it resembles one you've actually made in your lifetime. The expression needn't be a grin wide enough to frighten a dentist; relaxed and approachable will do beautifully.
Have someone take it outdoors in open shade or near a window. Let the camera sit roughly at eye level, rather than pointing up from your lap like a passport photograph taken by a suspicious frog. Step away from the background, check what is behind your head and wear something you'd happily be seen in on a date.
I don't care if your favourite photograph is a splendid group shot from a wedding in Tuscany. If the woman has to play Where's Wally to identify you, it doesn't belong first.
And please don't lead with a photograph from eight years ago because your hair had ambitions it has since abandoned. She wants to meet today's you. That's the chap who will be showing up for drinks.
Use the whole collection to tell one truthful story
Think of your photos as a very short introduction, not five separate attempts to prove you're desirable. A good collection might include a straightforward portrait, a full-length picture, a photograph doing something you genuinely enjoy, one in a social setting and another showing a different side of your normal life.
Notice the word different. Six near-identical selfies don't make you six times more attractive. They suggest you have found a camera angle you trust and are unwilling to negotiate.
A man who enjoys walking, cooking and live music can show those things without turning his profile into a tourist brochure. A candid shot making dinner with friends says more about his weekend than a carefully arranged picture of an empty plate. A photograph at a gig can reveal the sorts of places he likes. One wearing a smart jacket at a wedding shows he knows how to scrub up when required.
You are offering conversation starters. “Where was that taken?” is an easy beginning. So is “Is that your dog?” Assuming the answer isn't “No, I borrowed it from a woman I met in the park purely for its romantic market value.”
Let the light do the heavy lifting
There is a reason people look better in some pictures than others, and much of it has nothing to do with bone structure. Harsh overhead light gives perfectly decent men the complexion of tired office furniture. A camera flash at close range can make your skin shine and flatten the face. Shooting straight into bright sunlight leaves you squinting as though attempting to read a parking fine from another county.
Try a bright but overcast afternoon, or stand in a doorway facing daylight. Ask your friend to take several pictures while you move and talk, rather than demanding one solemn pose. A candid moment from a little further back often feels warmer than a close-up in which the lens has developed an unhealthy interest in your nose.
Clean the lens. I cannot believe I must say this, but here we are. Half of Britain's dating photographs appear to have been taken through a layer of chip fat.
A full-length photo prevents unnecessary surprises
A straightforward, full-length shot is useful because it gives an honest sense of your appearance and style. That doesn't mean posing like a catalogue model on the steps of a stately home. Walk along a promenade, stand beside a street market stall or let someone photograph you outside a café. Keep your posture comfortable. Relax your shoulders. Put the phone away.
Wear clothes that fit. The designer label is irrelevant if the jacket hangs off you like a borrowed marquee. Likewise, a fitted shirt is a marvellous invention, but there is a difference between fitted and asking the buttons to perform structural engineering.
There's no need to conceal your height, your build, your hairline or any other ordinary human feature. Trying to hide everything you worry about usually makes the photos stranger, not better. The point isn't to persuade every woman on the platform that you're her type. It's to help women who do fancy you recognise you.
Your hobbies are useful; your props are on probation
If you actually sail, a photograph on a boat is fair game. If you once stood beside a yacht at an exhibition, you haven't suddenly become Captain Mediterranean. And if the Lamborghini belongs to a man who generously allowed you to photograph yourself near it, perhaps leave it out.
The best activity photographs have an unmistakable sense of your involvement. You're repairing an old motorbike, not simply standing next to somebody else's magnificent machine. You're playing guitar, not holding one as though it's an awkwardly shaped umbrella. You're at a cookery class, possibly looking mildly astonished by the consequences of your own sauce.
Pets can make delightful appearances when they're really part of your life. Just don't use a borrowed puppy as bait. Eventually the conversation will reach the animal, and explaining that you hired a cockapoo for romantic purposes is not the charming reveal you imagine.
Group photographs need a strict guest list
A social photograph can show that you have friends and enjoy spending time with them. Wonderful. But keep it to one, or at most a small part of the collection. Don't make someone guess which of four men in identical navy suits is you.
Choose a photograph where you're easy to spot and everyone present would be comfortable being shown on a dating profile. Ask permission when it's appropriate, particularly if the image includes somebody's children or a friend in an awkward moment. Better still, crop carefully if that doesn't misrepresent what's happening.
And think before posting yourself with an unknown woman draped across your shoulders. She might be your sister, your colleague or the woman who won a pub quiz with you. Your potential match hasn't been issued the family tree. It's not about jealousy; it's about avoiding a pointless puzzle.
The bathroom mirror has had a splendid run. Retire it.
A mirror selfie isn't a moral failing. But if the background includes a toilet seat, yesterday's towel and a toothpaste tube suffering a slow death, you've told a rather more detailed story than intended.
If you must take one, tidy the room, face a window and keep the phone from covering your face. Still, a friend-held camera generally creates a more natural photograph. A tripod and timer can help if there's nobody available, though do yourself the courtesy of taking the picture somewhere you would genuinely spend time.
Gym photographs are another delicate business. If training is a major interest, a normal picture at an event or participating in a sport can make sense. A bathroom shot involving a flexed bicep, a raised eyebrow and an aggressively clean sink is a very particular invitation. It might suit some people; it will put others off. Know the audience you want to attract, rather than copying whatever the blokes on social media insist works.
Filters, AI faces and the problem of the grand reveal
A little improvement to brightness or colour is fine. Erasing your skin texture, sharpening your jaw to a weapon and digitally replacing the scenery with Monaco creates a character, not a profile.
Be particularly wary of AI-generated portraits that invent a more polished version of your face. They may look tremendous. They can also make the first meeting feel like a product-description dispute. If you've arrived expecting a real person, being greeted by the lower-budget relative of the man in the photographs is not a promising start.
The same goes for photographs that are technically genuine but misleading in combination: every picture from the same flattering angle, every full-length shot concealed behind furniture, every portrait from a different decade. Honesty makes the first encounter easier for both of you.
Make your photographs safe, not just attractive
Don't include your home address on a visible parcel, the name of your workplace on a security badge or a photograph that reveals exactly where you live. Check reflections, car number plates and recognisable locations you visit alone every day. An attractive picture isn't worth broadcasting information you'd rather keep private.
If an image features other people, consider their privacy too. A picture of your child might feel like an honest declaration that you're a father, but you can communicate that in your profile without posting your child's face to strangers.
How to choose from twenty decent pictures
Spread your shortlist out. Ask a friend who will tell you the truth rather than the friend who describes every photograph as “legendary”. Which picture looks most like you? Which one seems friendly? Which two repeat the same information? Is your face clearly visible in the first shot? Would a woman seeing the entire set understand what meeting you might actually be like?
It helps to view the collection on a phone. Your wonderful landscape photograph may shrink to a tiny man standing somewhere near Scotland. Crop with the app's actual display in mind. And don't choose a picture purely because you happen to look handsome if your expression is miserable, your surroundings are bizarre or you plainly aren't enjoying yourself.
Review your profile occasionally. Replace an outdated photograph when your appearance changes significantly, or swap one that no longer reflects your life. Don't turn this into a daily numbers experiment. Dating is not an investment portfolio, and you've got better things to do than hold an emergency meeting because Tuesday's picture received fewer likes than Monday's.
The photograph that wins is the one you can live up to
Picture the first date. You're walking into a café. She looks up. She recognises you instantly and smiles because the man in front of her is the man she thought she was meeting. That's the quiet triumph your photos should be working towards.
Not a profile that could advertise an aftershave, a private aviation company and a mysterious nutritional supplement. Just an appealing, interesting bloke who looks comfortable in his own skin and has a life worth asking about.
Make the face clear. Show the whole man. Give her a few glimpses of your world. Then leave a little for the conversation. A dating profile is an invitation, not a complete photographic archive of your existence.
And for the love of all that is romantic, clean the bloody bathroom mirror.