Dating at 35, 45 or 55 does not have to be an attempt to recreate your twenties with better trousers. You already have experiences, preferences and a clearer idea of what fits your life. Use them.
Be clear about what matters now
Schedules, families, work and responsibilities affect how people date. Talk about important priorities when the conversation naturally reaches them. You can be open without unloading your entire romantic history over the first coffee.
Make room for somebody real
A list of preferences is fine, but an impossible checklist can screen out lovely people. Think about values and compatibility separately from nice-to-have details. There is a difference between knowing what you want and demanding perfection.
METHOD✶
Make it work in real life
Choose three values that matter most to you and three preferences you could be flexible about. The distinction is often revealing.
Everyone brings different experiences and expectations to dating. Pay attention to the person rather than relying on a single rule, and don't assume somebody else's interest, availability or intentions. A good outcome is clarity and a respectful conversation, even when romance does not follow.
THE GOLDEN
RULE.
Attraction isn't a switch you can flick in another person. Work on being somebody comfortable, engaging and respectful to spend time with — and give others the freedom to choose for themselves.
YOURS, MONTGOMERY.