Attraction is more complicated than a haircut, a decent jacket and one heroic opening line. Start with the qualities that make people enjoyable to spend time with: interest in others, warmth, independence and the confidence to be yourself rather than auditioning for approval.
First impressions are only the beginning
Looking after yourself helps, but it cannot tell you whether someone will feel a connection. Notice how a conversation feels for both of you. Are you listening? Are you asking about something she genuinely enjoys? Are you comfortable admitting an interest of your own?
Curiosity beats performance
Instead of trying to make every sentence impressive, ask one genuine follow-up about something she has said. Then add a detail from your own life. The aim is a conversation where you both have room to be people, not a pitch to win somebody over.
METHOD✶
Make it work in real life
Try swapping one boast for one sincere question the next time you meet somebody. You may find you have much more to talk about.
Everyone brings different experiences and expectations to dating. Pay attention to the person rather than relying on a single rule, and don't assume somebody else's interest, availability or intentions. A good outcome is clarity and a respectful conversation, even when romance does not follow.
THE GOLDEN
RULE.
Attraction isn't a switch you can flick in another person. Work on being somebody comfortable, engaging and respectful to spend time with — and give others the freedom to choose for themselves.
YOURS, MONTGOMERY.