Charm is worth very little without respect. Good boundaries make dating more comfortable for both people: you know what is okay for you, and you give the other person the same freedom.
Be clear about your own limits
Whether it involves time, physical intimacy, money or communication, you can say what you are comfortable with without making somebody else the villain. You do not need to agree to things simply because you want to be liked.
Consent and interest are ongoing
Someone can change their mind, and so can you. If there is uncertainty, ask. If somebody says no, stop. A relaxed, respectful response is always better than pressure, guilt or a dramatic attempt to change the answer.
METHOD✶
Make it work in real life
Write down one boundary that matters to you and a calm sentence you can use to explain it when necessary.
Everyone brings different experiences and expectations to dating. Pay attention to the person rather than relying on a single rule, and don't assume somebody else's interest, availability or intentions. A good outcome is clarity and a respectful conversation, even when romance does not follow.
THE GOLDEN
RULE.
Attraction isn't a switch you can flick in another person. Work on being somebody comfortable, engaging and respectful to spend time with — and give others the freedom to choose for themselves.
YOURS, MONTGOMERY.