A first date is a chance to discover whether you enjoy each other's company, not a final interview for the post of Soulmate. Pick a place where conversation is easy, turn up on time and leave the grand gestures for another day.
Choose a comfortable plan
Coffee, a relaxed drink or a simple walk in a busy public setting can work well. Agree the details in advance. You want enough time to talk without either person feeling trapped into a three-hour event.
Ask, listen and share
Good questions are invitations, not an interrogation. Ask about something specific, listen to the answer and share an experience of your own. If you disagree over something harmless, you can be yourself without turning it into a debate.
METHOD✶
Make it work in real life
Before your next date, choose three genuine questions you would enjoy hearing answered. Leave the rehearsed performance at home.
Everyone brings different experiences and expectations to dating. Pay attention to the person rather than relying on a single rule, and don't assume somebody else's interest, availability or intentions. A good outcome is clarity and a respectful conversation, even when romance does not follow.
THE GOLDEN
RULE.
Attraction isn't a switch you can flick in another person. Work on being somebody comfortable, engaging and respectful to spend time with — and give others the freedom to choose for themselves.
YOURS, MONTGOMERY.